Archive for April, 2006

Party Not So Hearty

Thursday, April 27th, 2006

Went partying last weekend.

I think I must be getting old because I just don’t really enjoy myself in clubs anymore. The drinks are overpriced and watered down. The virtual fog of cigarette smoke makes my eyes water. It takes the bartender 20 minutes to get my drink and another 20 to return my change. And it takes me an hour just to use the toilet. There’ll always be some chicks heaving up their JD-Coke in the cubicles or hogging the sinks so they can apply another 4 inches of makeup. And when I come out of the toilet, I usually forget where the table’s at, get hopelessly lost in the throngs of sweaty people and run into some dodgy dude with a creepy smile who mistakes me for a horny chick who’s out solo to get laid tonight.

Oh. My. God. Listen to me. I’m getting old.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still up for a good time. Just that my definition of a good time has changed: Go to Breakers to play pool. Listen to live jazz at Alexis. Play card games over sangria in Bodega Lounge. Crap. I’ve become a yuppie.

But it’s funny because clubs are almost exclusively the only places where I get to catch up with a lot of my friends. It’s like the last place on earth where you can have a decent conversation is the only place where you can get together with people you hardly see and not feel awkward with them. This only applies to certain friends though - y’know, the ones you know sorta well but not well enough to sit down with them and have a two-hour chat about your personal life. Get my drift?

And of course, with alcohol thrown into the equation, lips will loosen and inhibitions will crumble.

But at (almost) 23, I just guess my interests, as well as priorities, have shifted.

My partying days may be over but I feel that this is the best time of my life right now. I have so much more clarity when it comes to my goals and ambitions in life. My time is spent more meaningfully these days.

God, I definitely sound old. Excuse me while I go and knit some sweaters now.

And Another Thing…

Friday, April 14th, 2006

There’s a video game played by a little boy in Inside Man that I absolutely must get my hands on.

From what I could see, it’s a Grand Theft Auto-style game. The game action was cool. A black dude exchanges bullets with another black dude, then the words Kill That Nigga! flash across the screen as one of them finally goes down in a blaze of gunfire. Then the victor runs over to the fallen man, sticks a grenade in his mouth which blows off his head.

I strongly champion cartoon and video game violence.

My New Credo

Friday, April 14th, 2006

And oh, I forgot to add - Clive delivers a killer line in Inside Man that goes: "Respect is the ultimate currency."

Indeed.

Watch This

Friday, April 14th, 2006

There’s nothing like the movies. It’s the whole cinematic experience - the surround sound, the darkened hall, the larger than life visuals, being truly engrossed in the story unfolding before your eyes…It’s really not the same when you watch a movie at home on your 29" Panasonic. Not for me, at least.

I get interrupted only about 72 times during a movie at home. The dog will start whimpering for a walk. The phone will ring. The doorbell will ring. The DVD will skip. The mom will yell about how we’re out of dish detergent.

And the spell of concentration is broken the moment you have to hit the pause button.

Yet I don’t go to the movies as much as I used to which is a great, big, crying shame.

But last weekend, I did go to catch Inside Man. For those of you who don’t know what the movie’s about (where have you been - hiding out with Osama in his cave?), it’s about how Clive Owen plans the seemingly perfect bank robbery, then plays a game of one-upmanship with detective Denzel so-famous-I-don’t-need-to-mention-his-last-name.

Stellar powerhouse cast. Good premise. Many touches of low-key humour. (There’s one scene where Clive’s character says money isn’t everything and a deadpan Denzel says dryly, "Why, thank you, Mr. Bank Robber.") And it had more twists than a pretzel.

There’s a great buildup of tension that you know will lead to the Big Payoff. But when it comes, it’s neither very shocking nor very plausible. I kind of guessed it halfway through the movie (but then I have this eerie kind of ESP when it comes to film plotlines so just ignore me). And Jodie Foster’s character seemed to have been created just to chew up the scenery. Not that she wasn’t any good. I mean, c’mon, it’s Jodie Foster! She could play a doormat and still steal the show.

It’s not just the big names who shine in the movie though. Spike Lee has peopled his film with an ethnically diverse cast that is truly representative of modern-day New York City. Having stayed in Brooklyn (the most populous of the five boroughs of NYC) every autumn as a child, I can tell you that many of the taxi drivers spoke with foreign accents and on almost every street corner, I could have sworn there was some Korean grocery store.

But I’ll save my New York stories for some other time and place.

Overall, Inside Man is solid entertainment. A good ol’ crime caper that is helped along by the ever-reliable Clive Owen. This man is hot and I don’t really mean in a physical sort of way - although I suppose his dark, brutish looks aren’t too hard on the eyes. But he’s got this commanding, enigmatic kind of presence that I find irresistable in a man. Plus, have you seen how cool he was in those BMW film shorts? Go download them. Now.

Moving along to the small screen, I haven’t really watched anything interesting lately except…umm, ahh, it’s sort of my guilty little pleasure…America’s Next Top Model. I’m always going on about how reality shows suck and anything that pits a bunch of conniving humans against each other is stupid, blah blah blah…And look at what I’m tuning into devotedly every week.

But goddammit, it’s interesting! It’s funny to see how Tyra Banks and her judging panel eliminate girls based on their characters and attitudes. If this is how supermodels get selected, then Naomi Campbell would have never seen the dawn of her career. She would have been kicked off on the very first episode for beating up one of the other contestants with her cell phone or something.

And it was also funny to see how the girls performed when they were asked to read from a teleprompter in one episode. Few of them could barely read the word ‘charismatic’. Almost all of them made painful attempts at pronouncing ‘magenta’.

This is the kind of show that makes my anti-American friend sneer, "Stupid Yanks."

Maybe I should start being a selective viewer and watch more CNN or something. *snorts* Yeah, right.

If I’m gonna be watching George W. Bush mangle the English language, I’d rather just see a bunch of beautiful girls doing pretty much the same thing.

Same difference.

Homophobic Sapiens

Friday, April 14th, 2006

I was passing by this men’s clothing store the other day, called Philosophy, when I saw the gayest t-shirt ever.

No, it wasn’t hot pink. Or fuschia. It wasn’t fishnet. Neither was it sheer and see-through.

It was just your basic, white, cotton tee. And it had these words emblazoned on the front: I wish I knew how to quit you.

I thought about buying it and giving it to one of my homophobic male friends as a prank since he obviously hasn’t seen Brokeback Mountain. And I know for a fact that the line doesn’t sound familiar to him at all. Gay Philosophy t-shirt - RM70. Wrapping paper - RM2. Watching his reaction when he wears it out in public for the first time and attracts the (unwanted) attention of some, uh, amorous men - priceless.

I’m just too cruel for words. But that should teach him a thing or two for having an unfounded, unreasonable fear and hatred of homosexuals. I mean, it’s not like he’s ever spent time in prison or had a traumatic experience in a communal shower before. He hears the word ‘homo’ and starts cringing like he just sucked on a lemon. Dumb homo sapien.

Bad Day

Thursday, April 13th, 2006

Simple Plan was the first thing I heard when I turned on the radio this morning.

That was when I knew it was going to be a bad day.

I don’t want to go into the specifics of why today made me so dejected. Only that it was one of those days that made you just want to curl up in bed with a good book and some Latin bossa nova playing softly in the background. The wet, miserable weather didn’t help either. Especially when it turns rush hour traffic into - I hate to use this traffic report cliche but what the hell - a bumper-to-bumper crawl. So what does a logical person do but dawdle around in an empty office and chat about insipid things with friends over MSN until it’s late enough for the traffic gridlock to have dispersed.

And then, in the car on the way home, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap which happened while I was trying to wipe the coffee drooling down the side of the cup all because the barista at San Francisco had filled the cup right up to the brim and there was a slight gap between the lousy cover and the cup so that every time I made a turn, latte splashed out and started urinating all over my cup holder tray and gosh, this is an awfully long sentence.

F**king Frisco. And it’s a travesty for them not to have soy milk available as an option for the lactose intolerant. Well, not that I am. I just like the taste of a soy latte better. But that’s not the point. Point is, I’m sticking to Star-ripping-your-hard-earned-Bucks next time.

Of course, coffee spillage was not The Problem of the day. But it’s good to gripe about all the little things so that you can get your mind off the big ones.

Yeah, I’ve got issues.

The Simple Things

Sunday, April 9th, 2006

Whacking off all my enemies in each progressively difficult mission of Devil May Cry.

Eating ice cream on a cold winter day.

Jumping into cool water on a hot summer day.

When a puppy sees my hand as a new chew toy.

Knocking in the eight ball just when I think I’m about to lose a game of pool.

Feeling the warmth of the sunshine on my skin while I’m out on my lunch break.

Capturing a candid moment on camera.

Going down the highway very fast.

Saturday morning cartoons.

Sunday comic strips.

Watching the sun set from the balcony of my hotel room in some foreign, exotic land.

Getting a handwritten letter or postcard in the mail. (Who writes these days?)

Feeling the wind in my hair and the sand between my toes as I’m walking down the beach.

Imagining the clouds in the sky are in the shape of rude objects.

Looking at old photographs.

Blowing bubbles at my dog just to see her reaction.

Receiving an unexpected present for no special occasion that the giver even takes the effort to wrap.

Having a steaming cup of latte.

Cruising in the car at 3 in the morning with the windows down and the stereo on.

Stopping the car in the middle of nowhere to get out and look at the stars. Just because you can.

Knowing something that no one else does.

Making someone else smile.

As Dirty Vegas sing, it’s the simple things that make you smile.

When Shit Happens

Sunday, April 9th, 2006

There are times when I love my job and truly believe in the merit of PR. When I try to explain the nature of my job to older folks who can’t quite grasp the concept, I do away with terminology like "key messages" or "crisis management". Learning from past experience, what you think sounds fairly simple may as well sound like Zulu to another (lawyers, take heed). And so I put PR very simply as "the eyes, ears and mouthpiece of an organization."

But, unfortunately, there are times when the mouthpiece isn’t linked to the brain, when all PR merely stands for is Phony Representation. And these are times when I feel jaded and disillusioned because if I wanted to peddle lies, I would have gone into advertising. Or politics. At least they would be much more financially rewarding. And heck, if you’re going to go to hell, you might as well enjoy the trip there.

Anyway. The reason for my ramblings is a recent case that should be a future textbook study for local PR students on how not to manage a crisis.

In a quick summary of the Bausch & Lomb eyecare scare, cases of contact lens-related fungal eye infections had been widely reported in Singapore and Hong Kong. Cases had been linked to the use of B&L’s ReNu contact lens solution which led the company to voluntarily suspend sales of the product in both countries.

This, of course, led to a panic among Malaysian users of ReNu, especially after the Tun Hussein Onn Eye Hospital listed 14 cases of infective keratisis.

Based on this data, the Ministry of Health ordered the withdrawal of all ReNu products from the shelves although they gave no time frame for the recall.

3 days later, B&L released a press statement with a rather defiant stance. What they said was that they would not withdraw their products unless they had official instruction from the MoH. So basically, what they really meant was that they weren’t going to recall their products, even if there was the potential danger that people using them were going to have mushrooms sprouting from their eyes, unless they were forced to by the government. What heartwarming corporate values.

Of course I know a product recall involves massive losses and the admission that there is something wrong with your product. There are more implications involved than what we can see on the surface - imagine being the CEO and having to explain this to a room full of shareholders as your stock prices plummet. But I think the negative impact is only short-term. Companies that are seen to place consumer well-being over corporate profits will raise their bottomline in the long run.

But what if there truly is nothing wrong with the product? What if the eye fungal infections weren’t caused by ReNu at all? There are many, many causes for such infections, after all. And is taking responsibility for something that isn’t even your fault, in the first place, the right thing to do?

Well, that was the same problem faced by Johnson & Johnson when several people died after consuming Tylenol in a classic study of good crisis management. J&J could have dismissed them as isolated incidents that stemmed from product tampering in an attempt to absolve themselves from any blame. But instead, they put consumer safety first by having a massive recall of all Tylenol products from the market with a retail value of more than US$100 million. But you bet your pill-popping ass it was worth every penny because until today, Tylenol is one of the best selling aspirin products in the world.

J&J also set up a toll-free consumer hotline and worked together with the government, the FBI and the Food and Drug Administration. Compare and contrast that with B&L who said they had confidence in their products, dismissing data from the leading eye hospital in the country.

If they’re so confident in their products, why not take a leaf out of Pepsi’s book and show it with supporting evidence? When Pepsi was hit with a potentially damaging crisis after someone discovered a syringe in a can of Pepsi, the soft drinks maker hit back by producing video news releases of their bottling process to assure the public that it was virtually impossible to insert any foreign substance in the cans.

And the answer is yes, taking responsibility even when it’s not your fault is the right thing to do. Because it shows the company is being pro-active, as opposed to being defensive and merely playing the blame game.

When Procter & Gamble’s newly launched Rely tampons were linked to toxic shock syndrome by the Center for Disease Control, P&G’s initial reaction was one of denial. They challenged CDC’s findings as inconclusive which led to a barrage of negative publicity. But they later made up for their screw-up with exemplary actions that, more importantly, showed a sense of social responsibility.

Post-Enron, the buzzwords for companies everywhere are all about "transparency" and "accountability". And public relations should exist not just to communicate those very messages to a sceptical public, but to act as the ethical conscience of the organization. It’s not just about saying the right thing but doing and saying the right thing.

After all, there are only two choices an organization has when shit happens. It can either go in and get its hands dirty to clean it up. Or it can cover it up. And if they choose the latter, they’d better be able to live with the stinking mess of it.

11 Songs

Saturday, April 8th, 2006

It’s funny how you turn on the radio sometimes and hear a song that will bring you back to a particular moment in time. It can remind you of the defining moments in your life like your first love, your first heartbreak, or even something as seemingly trivial as trying to dig up earthworms on a hot summer day (the year was 1990, I was a horribly inquisitive 7-year-old, and MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This was on frequent airplay).

Music evokes places, people and events that have long been forgotten, and emotions that have long been buried. It’s strange how they’re stored in the recesses of memory, only to be lured out again by the strains of a melody.

And then there are those songs you identify with because they just strike a chord of resonance. They speak of the heights of your joy or the depths of your despair in ways you know not how to articulate.

Nick Hornby wrote about the 31 Songs that he considered the soundtrack to his life. And here is mine. (And what do you know, ol’ Nick and I have one song in common…)

1. 32 Flavors, Alana Davis

Squint your eyes and look closer / I’m not between you and your ambition / I am a poster girl with no poster / I am 32 flavors and then some

2. Fade Into You, Mazzy Star

I want to hold the hand inside you / I want to take a breath that’s true /
I look to you and I see nothing / I look to you to see the truth

3. Beautiful Day, U2

It’s a beautiful day / Sky falls, you feel like / It’s a beautiful day / Don’t let it get away

4. Fix You, Coldplay

When you try your best but you don’t succeed / When you get what you want but not what you need / When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep

5. I’m Like A Bird, Nelly Furtado

I’m like a bird / I’ll only fly away / I don’t know where my soul is / I don’t know where my home is

6. I’ll Remember, Madonna

And I’ll remember the strength that you gave me / Now that I’m standing on my own / I’ll remember the way that you saved me / I’ll remember

7. When I Grow Up, Garbage
When I grow up / I’ll be stable / When I grow up / I’ll turn the tables

8. Walking on Sunshine, Katrina and the Waves

I’m walking on sunshine / And don’t it feel good!!

9. Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve

‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life / Trying to make ends meet / You’re a slave to money, then you die

10. Across the Universe, The Beatles

Words are flying out like / Endless rain into a paper cup / They slither while they pass / They slip away across the universe

11. We Are Young, Supergrass

We wake up, we go out, smoke a fag / Put it out, see our friends / See the sights, feel alright