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Been dining out at fancy establishments a lot lately because of work-related events, the obligatory social functions and countless birthdays. (Why does everyone have to be born in the middle of the year??)

Of course, I ain’t complaining. (And this is where the complaining starts.)

I have to say though that a lot of swanky restaurants in town are grossly overhyped and overrated. First of all, I don’t like it when they take three sentences just to describe what’s a relatively simple dish. I remember the time when I ordered this heavenly-sounding entree that turned out looking like a dressed-up Filet-O-Fish. It was disappointing. I wanted to hurl a dinner roll at the maitre ‘d who recommended it.

In a lot of fancy joints in Australia, the menu descriptions are so highly embellished that they’re almost comedic. They even tell you what you’re about to eat used to eat back when it was still alive. An actual example: "Organic grain fed chicken from Barossa Valley poached in…"

Are we really that concerned about what’s on our plates? Why not go further than that then? Start introducing living conditions and slaughtering methods into the menu as well just to appease those with animal welfare concerns. So it’ll be more like this: "Organic grain fed chicken that was free to roam around Barossa Valley and was killed in the most humane way possible in a certified slaughterhouse, poached in…"

And then pretty soon, going through a menu will be like starting a novel. "Once upon a time, there was a chicken from Barossa Valley…"

But that’s just sheer exaggeration.

And then your food comes.

It’s a very small (I believe they call it "delicate") portion on a very large plate. Sometimes you have to look for a while before you actually find your food. They might bury it under a pile of beautifully arranged garnishings and sprigs of parsley. Sometimes when you actually find the meat, it’s slightly bigger than a postage stamp.

And then the bill comes. Then you wonder why you are paying so much to feel so hungry.

But I do understand that when people go out to eat, they’re not just paying to enjoy the food. They’re paying for the ambience and the snooty waiters.

The snooty waiters part is not all that true though. I have to say that in a lot of posh joints, the service is mostly top-notch. I like to drop my napkin on purpose sometimes just to see an immaculately dressed waiter rush over to pick it up for me. Haha, just kidding, I’m not that evil. Well, maybe I am.

In the end, I guess I’m just a simple girl with relatively simple tastes. In dining, that is. Sure, I love the truffle butter in Cilantro and the pan-seared scallops at Pacifica. But slap some roti canai on the griddle and I’m a happy camper as well.

And besides, why am I whining instead of appreciating the merits of five-star dining? Maybe I should just be punished by being forced to stay at home to eat baked beans.

Sorry, I mean Organic Haricot Legumes Baked in a Condensed Tomato Sauce.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 19th, 2006 at 10:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.